SBC [Scottish Borders Cheviots] are apparently trying out a novel scheme for grass cutting in public spaces with the introduction of a travelling flock of Cheviot sheep. The scheme was recently trialled in Birgham, where residents were ewe-nanimous in their support for the idea.

A spokesman for SBC, Mr Shaun Shepherd, said that the concept was shear genius, but emphasised this was only a trial, remarking “You haven’t seen mutton yet”

He went on to state, rather sheepishly, that “The sheep were doing a far better job than conventional grass cutting methods in keeping grass areas, of all sheeps and sizes, sheep-shape”. And as if to ram home his point, he went on to say that this was shearly the sheep of things to come.

Why? Because unlike lanmowers, they weren’t baaa..d for the environment. After all, they didn’t pollute the atmosphere with noise and exhaust fumes…. they didn’t take long tea breaks and didn’t need holidays because they would work all yearling round….. [and they certainly didn’t leave the cemetery gate open after each visit].

Asked if it was problematic transporting the sheep between sites, Mr Shepherd said no, he just used his Lamb Drover.

Adoption of the new scheme will be put to the vote at the next council meeting, where it is tup of the agenda and expected to achieve a lamb-side victory. 

But not everybody was flocking to get behind the ewe-nique scheme; “What about all the sheep droppings” said a member of the o-poo-sition, who lambasted the idea. He claimed the SBC were merely a wolf in sheeps’ clothing and that they were simply trying to pull-the-wool over voters’ eyes. “It’s all down to budget chops” he said.

But this reaction was just seen as a sheep-shot and poo-litically driven by the SBC, adding “we have no intention of fleecing anybody.” The SBC cautioned that it was too soon for any ewe-phoria over the success of the project, but those against the plan admitted that there was only a gimmer of hope that the initiative might fail.

Will the scheme work? Personally, I couldn’t give tup-pens wether it does or not …only time wool tell. Yow will be able to watch the vote on TV, but as a lively adult debate and rural language is expected, the vote is only being shorn after the woolshed time of 9pm, but it will also be live streamed on ewetube.